Survival

  And so it comes down to this. Survival. I have always struggled financially while I was married, and I didn't really mind. I always had my family, that was all I needed.
  Now it's just me. I have less than half the income I once had, and money is even tighter. 
  But that's not the hard part. Not having a partner to face the world is the hard part. Knowing that person has betrayed me and turned into a stranger is still a concept I struggle to come to grips with.
  So I do  not live. I survive, I exist.
   I savor every moment I don't dwell on this, and try to focus on the future. But my present is my purgatory. I'm in an emotional prison and I'm waiting for parole.
   The effects of the cancer and the surgery to remove it are still affecting me physically, so there is an added dynamic to my losing my married/family life. Who can understand or relate to that? Therapy helped me in my darkest time but I can't afford to pay someone to listen to my whining. My Mom has always done that for free. And now I have the people who might be reading my blog {Not exactly fun reading}  And so it goes...