Creating a new life

  Well I have been alone and on my own for a couple months, so I am creating a new life now. I don't have the same bad relationship with my soon to be ex-wife [that's good]. And I'm not a full-time Dad [that's something I miss very much] but it is what it is. It cannot be denied. So I have tried to weigh the good versus the bad and draw conclusions and come up with some kind of order. That's the hard part. I don't know where I am anymore.
   I mean by that, I was always a happy-go-lucky kind of guy who rolled with the punches of a hardscrabble life and was generally happy, because I had family . Now they're pretty much gone. They're not here. I'm on the outside. Who am I? Pretty damn philosophical.. But I mean where's the ME now? The identity?
    I have always had a good sense of humor, I have always been able to make people laugh. Few things have ever given me more joy than to hear someone laugh over something I said. And now, well, I don't have that. Where did it go? I have struggled to find that guy and get him back. But he's been replaced and I miss that. But...I have developed a sense of empathy and respect for others I don't think I had before. I actually listen to other people and sympathize with their problems and it gives me satisfaction. Maybe I can grow and learn from this, and maybe this is the  start of healing. Maybe this is how it begins...