Monday, September 13, 2010

The fog is lifting

    It's been 9 months since the beginning of the year. 10 months since my cancer surgery. 8 months since my wife told me she didn't love me. And now I finally am starting to reclaim myself. I don't spend as much time arguing with her inside  my head. She's almost gone. And its okay. Finally. The tide is turning.
    I have nothing. But I also have nothing to lose. I'm starting to remember the person I am. And I like myself again. I'm not such a bad dude. I have my faults and the cancer may have changed me physically, But I am getting back to being me.
     I've always been a survivor. And I still have my essence. I can feel it again.
     It's good to be back. And I know I'm needed by my children so I still have a purpose. It's to be the man I always was.
      So I'm putting away the self-pity. Drying out the crying towel and going over the hill of this long road.
       I don't know where it will lead, but it will be new. And new is good.
       Oh yeah, I can feel it.
    "Rounding third and headed for home it was a brown-eyed handsome man who won the game, it was a brown-eyed handsome man."
     Chuck Berry



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